She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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