it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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