this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
