You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
