hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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