She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Less talking, more tequila
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
