Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
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So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
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To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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