Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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