She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
