you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
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The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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