i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
