I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
