we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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