Define "chronic" masturbator.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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