Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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