we have pet lesbian snakes
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i dont even know how to be here
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
