Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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