I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
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as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
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I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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