This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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