So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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