I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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