I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize