My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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