I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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