i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
