dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
