gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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