I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
3pm strippers are depressing
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
COCAINE IS GR8
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
