I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize