Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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