her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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