maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
