i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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