Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize