so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
