Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I am mentally ready for anal.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
