When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
no you cant smoke seaweed
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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