they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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