the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
