a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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