And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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