That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
