just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
is wine microwaveable?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
