my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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