it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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