dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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