I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
