I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
