You're earring is so big in my mouth
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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