the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
