im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
