Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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