does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
