Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
