I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have fence marks all over my body
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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