Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
