yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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