i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
