Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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