I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
