oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
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We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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