He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
