sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
