Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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