are you so shy because you have an std?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
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