Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
